I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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