I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize