Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
