Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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