just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
