And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
