just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
