We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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