This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
