Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize