I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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