Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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