Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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