after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
