yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
