I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
