Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
