I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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