just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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