do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
