Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
