So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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