so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
