we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
