hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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