Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”