No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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