Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
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Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.