Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize