How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??