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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  birth control should be required to get into college

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.

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• (631): View more from New York

  he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.

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• (585): View more from New York

  PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum

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