I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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