hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
