i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i came on her dog
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
