And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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