well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize