She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
