i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
