covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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