its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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