She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i dont even know how to be here
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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