Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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