you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
