I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
