Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
