yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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