brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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