Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
