First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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