i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
