Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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