Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
