Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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