did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
