I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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