Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dear god my vagina.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
