It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize