just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
