I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
