dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
