but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
