He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
