Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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